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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393654">Men Gorls &amp; Heathens: Incorrect Quotes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightlyWolfy/pseuds/NightlyWolfy'>NightlyWolfy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Multi-Fandom Incorrect Quotes [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Heathers: The Musical - Murphy &amp; O'Keefe, Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, M/M, Mean Girls Musical - Freeform, Multi, heathers musical - Freeform, thats so fetch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:42:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25393654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightlyWolfy/pseuds/NightlyWolfy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>NO QUOTES BELONG TO ME</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cady Heron/Janis Sarkisian, Damian Hubbard &amp; Janis Sarkisian, Damian Hubbard/Aaron Samuels, Heather McNamara/Veronica Sawyer, Janis Sarkisian &amp; Veronica Sawyer, Regina George &amp; Janis Sarkisian, Regina George &amp; Karen Smith &amp; Gretchen Wieners</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Multi-Fandom Incorrect Quotes [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1869388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady, at the party: I am here, but I would rather be with my Janis</p><p>Regina: I am here, but I would rather be with my Gretchen</p><p>Janis: I am here, but I would rather be dead.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady, sliding into her bed: Finally! Some peace and quiet.</p><p>Karen, not even a second later: Cady, did we run out of Cheetos?</p><p>Regina, a broken curling iron in hand: You didn't need this, did you?</p><p>Damian, walking in calmly: Caddy, do you know where I left my shoes?</p><p>Cady, picking up a nerf gun: This household is nightmare!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady, meeting Janis &amp; Damian for the first time: you guys are so tall. What can you see from up there?</p><p>Janis, as she watches Karen trip over herself and drop all her items: Everyone's flaws.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady, talking about Aaron: Can you at least pretend you like him?</p><p>Janis: This is me pretending</p><p>Cady: You gave him food poisoning</p><p>Janis: Me, pretending</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veronica: WHO ate my fries? You wanna FCKING GO—</p><p>McNamara: Sorry, I did. I didn't know they were yours.</p><p>Veronica:—out with me? We can get more fries if you want.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron: I'm going to Burger King, do ya'll want anything?</p><p>Damian: I want my father to love me...</p><p>Aaron: Yeah, I got like 12 dollars, soo....</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: Why are you cooking at four in the morning on a Tuesday?</p><p>Janis: Because I have lost control of my life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: The doctor said I have four days to live.</p><p>Cady: Oh my god! Are you okay?</p><p>Janis: Nah, i'm fine. He just doesn't like me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karen: I don't like this song.</p><p>Damian: You've got to admit, it's catchy.</p><p>Karen: The bubonic plaque was catchy. Doesn't mean it was good.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: I hate you! You're the worst person I know!</p><p>Janis: You're the most annoying person I've ever seen! Definitely the whiniest.</p><p>Damian, in the background: The sexual tension is at it's peak. Aaron, take the rose petals</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: You all replaced me...</p><p>Regina: For Cady?!</p><p>Gretchen, Karen &amp; Janis:</p><p>Gretchen: She's a good listener</p><p>Karen: And she bakes good.</p><p>Janis: And she doesn't fight over everything</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Interviewer: Describe yourself in one word.</p><p>Aaron: Indescribable</p><p>Interviewer:</p><p>Damian: Childish.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: I am very quick at math.</p><p>Cady: Okay, what's 64 plus 72?</p><p>Janis: 24</p><p>Cady: That wasn't even close</p><p>Janis: But it was quick</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: I'm a confident driver.</p><p>Damian: You almost ran someone over...</p><p>Janis: With confidence, though</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: Why do you encourage every stupid thing Janis does?</p><p>Cady: Oh, she's sensitive and I don't want to hurt her</p><p>Regina: She beat up Aaron behind the school!</p><p>Cady: With sensitivity</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: I wish you would just admit it when you make a mistake.</p><p>Janis, stirring coffee: Maybe I just prefer it with salt.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian: From a scale of "Damn Daniel" to "Fre sha va codo", how are you feeling?</p><p>Janis: I'm between "What's up Jared?" and "I don't need a college degree to be a clothing hanger"</p><p>Karen: I'm feeling a little "Road work ahead?" today.</p><p>Regina &amp; Gretchen:</p><p>Cady: I speak many languages but this is not one of them</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: I just ended a 15 year-old marriage</p><p>Damian: Are you okay?</p><p>Janis: Oh, it wasn't mine.</p><p>Damian: Wait, than who's—</p><p>Aaron, in the background:[screeching]</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron:[flirts with Cady]</p><p>Janis:[stares at him silently]</p><p>Regina: You've been awfully quiet today, Jay</p><p>Janis: Well, no one plans a murder out loud.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karen:[walks in with an ostrich and smoothie]</p><p>Gretchen, looking up from her book: What do you have there, Kare?</p><p>Karen: A smoothie.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: My partner must be calculated, quick and able to match my intellect.</p><p>Janis:[being rushed in for eating too much pasta]</p><p>Cady:</p><p>Cady: I want that one.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McNamara, talking about Janis: Look at our beautiful baby girl! What should we name her?</p><p>Veronica, without missing a beat: Horace</p><p>McNamara:</p><p>McNamara: What have you gone through that makes you think Horace is an acceptable name?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McNamara &amp; Sawyer in couples therapy,</p><p>Therapist: Now, what do we say when your partner says something wrong?</p><p>McNamara: Dumb ass</p><p>Therapist: No!</p><p>Veronica: No, she's right.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian: It's a little muggy outside.</p><p>Regina: I swear, if I go outside and all the mugs are out on the garden, i'm leaving this godforsaken friend group.</p><p>Damian:[sips coffee through a casserole]</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McNamara: Come back to sleep, you haven't slept a wink in 7 days.</p><p>Veronica: WOW! New record.</p><p>McNamara: Veronica!</p><p>Veronica: I'm fine. Janis, come give me a hug.</p><p>McNamara: Dear, that's a bush.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veronica: I got the courage to ask Heather to marry me on our tenth date and your scared to tell Cady you love her?</p><p>Janis, sobbing: S-she walks into the room and I feel blind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian: Relax</p><p>Aaron: Be yourself</p><p>Gretchen: Be a bit flirty.</p><p>Regina: And remember to control yourself</p><p>later, on her date</p><p>Cady: So, what do you do for fun?</p><p>Janis, puffing our her chest: Taxes</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: Could you be quiet? I'm trying to think!</p><p>Kevin: Take your time. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: I'm such trash...</p><p>Janis: Well, as someone who cares about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up. Does 7 pm Saturday sound good?</p><p>Cady: You smooth—Yes, Saturday is fine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anyone: So, who's the clingy one?</p><p>Veronica: Heather</p><p>Later,</p><p>Veronica: Heather is going to the store, I must follow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: Uncle Jason, I need your help.</p><p>JD, eating raw cookie dough for breakfast: You came to the right place.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mrs. Norbury: The real treasures are the memories we made across the way.</p><p>Regina, still in her neck brace: I almost died!</p><p>Janis: That's my fondest memory.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady, cleaning Janis's wounds: How did this happen?</p><p>Janis: I got into a fight.</p><p>Earlier,</p><p>Janis: Damian, I need you to punch me as hard as you can. I want to spend time with Caddy and I need an excuse for it.</p><p>Damian: Say no more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karen: Gretchen and I are having so much fun. Aren't you having fun, Gretch?</p><p>Gretchen, shaking: I have never been more stressed in my life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: You played me like a fiddle!</p><p>Janis: No, fiddles are hard to play. We played you like the cheap kazoo you are</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veronica: Is this perfume or whiskey?</p><p>JD:[grabs the bottle and chugs it down]</p><p>Veronica:</p><p>JD:</p><p>JD: It's perfume.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Chapter 37</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: One time, I was at a bar with Regina and Gretchen and I went to go buy a drink.</p><p>Cady: When I got back, a girl my age grabbed my drink, chugged it down in one sitting and fainted.</p><p>Cady: That was Janis. We're married now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Chapter 38</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veronica: You're annoying.</p><p>McNamara: Then stop holding my hand</p><p>Veronica: No.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Chapter 39</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis:[rolls over in bed and knees Cady in the ribs]</p><p>Cady: Ow! You kneed me!</p><p>Janis, sleepily: Yeah, I do need you.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JD: If I cut my off my leg and swing it at you, am I kicking you or hitting you?</p><p>Chandler: You most likely mentally scaring me more than anything.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: Don't do anything stupid while i'm talking to the cashier--</p><p>Damian, Janis &amp; Karen:<br/>https://youtu.be/8cGQzoHSLxI</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Chapter 42</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: Just say something nice. Be yourself.</p><p>Janis: Which one? I can't do both.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Chapter 43</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JD: So, I head you like bad boys?</p><p>Veronica: Not really?</p><p>JD: Oh thank god.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Chapter 44</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McNamara: I'd date you</p><p>Veronica: What?</p><p>McNamara: I SAID I HATE YOU</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Chapter 45</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karen: I'm done with boys.</p><p>Karen: I mean, I haven't even started with them, but i'm done.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Chapter 46</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Judge: You're charged with... breaking into a pet store?</p><p>Cady, leaning close to the mic: I thought the cats might've been lonely, your Honor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Chapter 47</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: I can control one element.</p><p>Regina: Which element?</p><p>Janis: The element of surprise[stabs]</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Chapter 48</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian, in the passenger seat: Watch out for the pedestrian</p><p>Janis, driving: It's on the street, it knows the risks it's taking!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Chapter 49</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karen: Bring Gretchen to me.</p><p>Damian: She locked herself in her room.</p><p>Karen: Just tell her I said anything factually incorrect.</p><p>[two minutes later]</p><p>Gretchen: I'm sorry, the sky is blue because it's reflecting the color of the ocean???</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Chapter 50</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: I know we don't always see eye-to-eye—</p><p> </p><p>Janis: That's because you're short</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Bonus:</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Regina: Did you just refer to a knife as a people opener?</p><p> </p><p>Janis: Was I not supposed to?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Chapter 51</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McNamara: Would you rather be feared or loved?</p><p>Veronica: Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Chapter 52</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: Being gay isn't a choice.</p><p>Janis: It's a game and i'm winning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Chapter 53</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: Can someone explain to me what just happened.</p><p>Janis: Well—</p><p>Cady: Someone with a brain, please?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Chapter 54</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron: So, what's your names?</p><p>Janis: Don't tell him, Cady!</p><p>Aaron: So yours is Cady.</p><p>Cady: Nice going, Janis!</p><p>Aaron: And your Janis. Great. Now then...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Chapter 55</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: Caddy, we know you're upset about Janis, so we're going to take you out to dinner with us.</p><p>Cady: I'm not upset.</p><p>Gretchen: Cads, we saw you throwing rocks at couples in the park.</p><p>Cady: WHY SHOULD THEY BE HAPPY?!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. Chapter 56</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veronica, reading a magazine: FUCK.</p><p>McNamara:[covers young Janis's ears] GASP!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. Chapter 57</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis:[taps table lightly]</p><p>Damian:[taps pen in response]</p><p>Regina: Stop that.</p><p>Damian: Stop what?</p><p>Regina: You're talking about me in Morris code!</p><p>Damian: Yes, that's exactly what we are doing. In our own, limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you, in front of you.</p><p>[later]</p><p>Regina, to Gretchen &amp; Karen: That's exactly what we did.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. Chapter 58</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McNamara: Why is Janis asleep on your shoulder?</p><p>Veronica: Shut up! This is sweet daughter-and-mother time!</p><p>McNamara: Just an hour ago, you were complaining that she was devil spawn.</p><p>Veronica: I changed my mind.</p><p>
  <strong>SOFT RONNIE!</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. Chapter 59</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: Whenever I see a frog on a lily pad, I think,"Yes frog, that is exactly where you're supposed to be."</p><p>Janis: That's what God says about me when he sees me crying in a McDonald's bathroom.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0060"><h2>60. Chapter 60</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veronica:[holds the door open for McNamara after grocery shopping]</p><p>Heather: After you.</p><p>Veronica: No, no, after you.</p><p>Heather: No, I insist, after you!</p><p>Young Janis, holding all the grocery bag: I don't want to rush you two lovebirds, but these are getting heavy.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>I just really like the idea of Veronica &amp; McNamara being Janis's parents.</strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0061"><h2>61. Chapter 61</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: When I was born, God said she's too perfect for this world.</p><p>Janis: Please, when you were born, Satan said,"Finally, competition."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0062"><h2>62. Chapter 62</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: Oooh, Caddy, you had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing!</p><p>Cady: We're dating?</p><p>Janis: Still!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0063"><h2>63. Chapter 63</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian: What now?</p><p>Aaron: I don't know.</p><p>Damian: What do you mean, 'I don't know'? This was your plan!</p><p>Aaron: Yeah, but I didn't actually expect this to work</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0064"><h2>64. Chapter 64</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chandler: Would you say you're independent?</p><p>JD:[turns to Veronica]</p><p>Veronica:[nods]</p><p>JD: I would say so, yes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0065"><h2>65. Chapter 65</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: Our can opener is broken.</p><p>Janis: So, it's a can't opener?</p><p>Cady:</p><p>Janis:</p><p>Cady: I can't believe i'm dating you.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0066"><h2>66. Chapter 66</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veronica: We need to talk about something professionalism</p><p>Chandler, standing on a table with McNamara &amp; Duke: Those are some brave words coming from someone standing in lava</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0067"><h2>67. Chapter 67</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JD: Bad things happen around me, I must have bad luck.</p><p>Veronica: Bad things happen around you because you do stupid things all the time...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0068"><h2>68. Chapter 68</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: When Karen wears one of Gretchen's shirts, she's cute and they're relationship goals.</p><p>Cady: But when I wear one of Janis's jackets, i'm weird and I look like a stray</p><p>Regina: That's because all her jackets have weird paintings on them and have holes in the fabric!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0069"><h2>69. Chapter 69</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mean Girls cast as my friends:</p><p>Damian: I'M MARRIED TO A LAMP!</p><p>Janis: And let me bitch in peace.</p><p>Cady: Chuck the child.</p><p>Aaron: Humanity slowly goes insane until we resort to cannibalism</p><p>Gretchen: No, we're both older than you, you crispy nugget.</p><p>Regina: I want a table to hit my head on.</p><p>Karen: Shove me in a box and sell the box on eBay to somebody not clarifying what's in the box</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0070"><h2>70. Chapter 70</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian: So, let me get this straight. You refused Janis's proposal because...</p><p>Damian: She didn't propose with a ring pop?</p><p>Cady: I have standards, Damian. Not my fault you'd settle for a normal ring.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0071"><h2>71. Chapter 71</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McNamara: What are you looking at?</p><p>Janis, taking a Buzzfeed quiz on what kind of holiday candle scent she is: Smut.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0072"><h2>72. Chapter 72</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JD: It's quick, it's easy and it's free: pouring river water into your socks.</p><p>Duke: Why would I do that?</p><p>JD: It's quick, it's easy and it's free.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0073"><h2>73. Chapter 73</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina You're in love with me?</p><p>Janis: No.</p><p>Regina, shrugging: Well, it was worth a shot.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0074"><h2>74. Chapter 74</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gretchen: You and Janis dating?</p><p>Cady: What? No!</p><p>Gretchen, mimicking Cady's voice the best she can: Hey, Janis?</p><p>Janis, from the other room: Yes, honey?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0075"><h2>75. Chapter 75</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JD: All in all, a %100 successful mission!</p><p>Veronica: Kurt and Ram died!</p><p>JD: All in all, a %100 successful mission!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0076"><h2>76. Chapter 76</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina, watching a documentary where the animal is being eaten: God, I wish that was me.</p><p>Karen: Hey guys! Gina's a furry!</p><p>Regina: Wait—</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0077"><h2>77. Chapter 77</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian: So for this, you will be playing the role of my dad!</p><p>Aaron: But, I don't want to be your dad.</p><p>Damian: Great! You already know your lines!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0078"><h2>78. Chapter 78</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis Sarkisian, during the musical, to Cady: Hi, I'm Janis and I like painting, video games and I want you to help me &amp; Damian over throw Regina, so we can rule Northshore High.</p><p>Janis Sarkisian, after the musical, and now friends w/ Regina &amp; the Plastics: Regina is a punk ass bitch. She ain't shit. Her hair? WACK. Her clothes? WACK. Her entire personality? WACK. Me? I'M FRESH AS FUCK.</p><p>Come on Caddy, dump your boyfriend and let me teach you about</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Intricate Rituals</em>
  </strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0079"><h2>79. Chapter 79</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: Hey Jay! Have you written your letters to Santa yet?</p><p>Janis: No... Santa isn't re—</p><p>Damian: READY TO ACCEPT LETTERS AT THE MOMENT!</p><p>Cady:</p><p>Cady: Oh okay, that makes sense. I gotta go. See you guys later!</p><p>Janis: What the fuck was that?</p><p>Damian: We—we haven't told her yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0080"><h2>80. Chapter 80</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: Did you say "fetch" or "skrrt skrrt"?</p><p>Karen: "skrrt skrrt"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0081"><h2>81. Chapter 81</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: This is where we put the things we love.</p><p>Cady: Can I put Janis in the box?</p><p>Regina: No.</p><p>Cady: Can I put Janis in the box?</p><p>Regina: No—</p><p>Damian: Can I—</p><p>Regina: NO—</p><p>Karen: Ca—</p><p>Regina: NO ONE IS PUTTING JANIS IN THE BOX!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0082"><h2>82. Chapter 82</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karen: I want takeout</p><p>Gretchen: Me too... i'm not calling.</p><p>Karen: Me neither.</p><p>Gretchen: So, what now?</p><p>Karen: We starve.</p><p>Janis: You two are pathetic.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0083"><h2>83. Chapter 83</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: Damian, I love your heart-shaped glasses, very festive.</p><p>Damian: I'm in love.</p><p>Janis: With who?</p><p>Damian: MysELF!!???</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0084"><h2>84. Chapter 84</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jason Dean: I've always considered you a friend.</p><p>Veronica: I'd sell you to Satan for one corn chip.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0085"><h2>85. Chapter 85</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mean Girls characters(Janis, Cady, Karen, Gretchen, Regina &amp; Damian): Idiot.</p><p>Aaron: :(</p><p>Mean Girls characters: Our idiot.</p><p>Aaron: :)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0086"><h2>86. Chapter 86</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: Hey</p><p>Cady:</p><p>Cady: Everyone's bones are wet.</p><p>Damian: Why would you say that?!</p><p>Cady: No one said hi back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0087"><h2>87. Chapter 87</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: What are you doing?</p><p>Janis, stuffing bread rolls into her mouth: I'm eating because i'm very uncomfortable</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0088"><h2>88. Chapter 88</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: I'm literally going to fight the next person who hates on my girlfriend.</p><p>Cady: I hate myself.</p><p>Janis: ALRIGHT YOU BEAUTIFUL IDIOT, SQUARE UP!</p><p>——<br/>
Janis:[listening to a couple]</p><p>Girl: I'm a disaster</p><p>Boy: My perfect disaster</p><p>later at home,</p><p>Janis: I'm a disaster</p><p>Cady: Yes you are</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0089"><h2>89. Chapter 89</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the Hell they call High school:</p><p>Chandler: I'm gonna walk right of here, you won't do any thing!</p><p>Chandler: Cause I think you're lying!</p><p>JD, with a knife: You think i'm bluffing?</p><p>Chandler: You're bluffing!</p><p>JD: THEN BLUFF THIS! VERONICA, STAB SOMEBODY!</p><p>Veronica:[screeches]</p><p>Veronica:[shoots Ram]</p><p>Chandler, Duke, McNamara, &amp; Kurt: AHHHHHHHH!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0090"><h2>90. Chapter 90</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JD: I killed a hundred men, how about you?</p><p>Veronica: I blew up a gold mine, you?</p><p>McNamara: I once wore black and yellow at the same time</p><p>McNamara: :D</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0091"><h2>91. Chapter 91</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady: But, we are on the same side.</p><p>Cady:[places a hand on Janis's shoulder]</p><p>Janis: Is this where we kiss like Benedictine monks from different monasteries?</p><p>Cady, smiling: I don't think I've ever heard you try to tell a joke before!</p><p>Janis, deadpan: You still haven't.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0092"><h2>92. Chapter 92</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Interviewer: Okay, and have you ever committed a felony?</p><p>Duke: Does being too cool count?</p><p>Interviewer:</p><p>Interviewer:[crumples up paper and walks away]</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0093"><h2>93. Chapter 93</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian &amp; Janis:[walking around New York city during the winter]</p><p>Damian, pointing at a small pile of snow: Hey look, it's a snow bank!</p><p>Janis, taking out a dollar: Uh, I'd like to make a deposit please?</p><p>Cady, coming from behind the snow and takes Janis's money: That's hilarious.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0094"><h2>94. Chapter 94</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: Caddy, here's the only thing you'll ever need to know about boys: They are stupid.</p><p>Janis: If you give a boy two choices, a smart one and a stupid one, he will always pick the stupid one.</p><p>Janis: eVrYtIMe.</p><p>Janis, a flame lit in her eyes: That's why you never give them a choice.</p><p>Cady, quietly: That's depressing.</p><p>Janis, sighing: Yes, it is.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0095"><h2>95. Chapter 95</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis:[inside the walls of a house]</p><p>Janis: Day 23 in the chamber. They ain't found me yet, but when they do they're gon' be surprised.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0096"><h2>96. Chapter 96</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis, looking away from her laptop that says'How to kill a blonde?': Hey, mom!</p><p>Veronica, pulling out a tape measure: OP! Just what I thought!</p><p>Veronica: All the measurements of a perfect cute little girl!</p><p>Later, </p><p>Veronica, smiling: You could say i'm a pretty cool mom.</p><p>Meanwhile, in the background, Janis is being held back by Cady &amp; Damian to stop her from trying to attack Regina.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0097"><h2>97. Chapter 97</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady:[enjoying life—</p><p>Janis, coming out of nowhere: You have the right to sexy!</p><p>Janis: Anything you say can and will make me bUsT A nUT</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0098"><h2>98. Chapter 98</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: God I wish you'd get off your ass and do some work!</p><p>Regina, sitting on the couch, sleepily: I took care of Karen &amp; Gretchen.</p><p>Janis: NO! No, you didn't! Don't you care I might hurt anyone?</p><p>Regina: Oh, yeah, you're really dangerous.</p><p>Janis: FCK YOU!</p><p>Regina, standing up and facing her: Is that how you talk to your friend? Huh?</p><p>Regina: YOU BIG FAT FCK.</p><p>Janis, cring: sTOp cALliNG mE tHAt! You KNOW I have to start jogging when you call me that!</p><p>Janis, walking out the door: I will be back when I'm beautiful!</p><p>Janis, running away: AhAhaAhhaAhhaHahahaahah!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0099"><h2>99. Chapter 99</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis, showing Cady around the lunch room: Welcome to the Krusty Towers</p><p>Janis: Where our motto is FCK YOU</p><p>Cady, sweating nervously: Oh, that's great.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0100"><h2>100. Chapter 100</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis, texting Cady: Caddy, there's a moth in our kitchen and i'm scared to kill it. Please come home.</p><p>Janis: Caddy?</p><p>Regina, texting her back: Cady is dead. You're next. Love, moth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0101"><h2>101. Chapter 101</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Karen: That's it! I'm leaving!</p><p>Gretchen: Karen, please let's talk abo--</p><p>Karen, looking back: And i'm taking the pillow pets!</p><p>Gretchen: WHAT? L-LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0102"><h2>102. Chapter 102</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Damian: You want to explain why you ran back into the apartment? Knowing completely well that it was on FIRE?!</p><p>Janis, covered in ash and holding all her framed portraits of Cady: Nah, not really.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0103"><h2>103. Chapter 103</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Duke: If you hurt McNamara, I will kill you!</p><p>Veronica: If I hurt her, i'll kill myself.</p><p>Duke: Not if I kill you first!</p><p>McNamara: Glad to see you two interacting as always.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0104"><h2>104. Chapter 104</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: Adding "LMAO" does not hide your pain.</p><p>Janis: Yes, it does LMAO.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0105"><h2>105. Chapter 105</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cady, texting Damian: Please by Twinks if your going to the store</p><p>Cady: Sorry, I meant twinkies</p><p>Damian, removing Janis from the grocery cart: Oh</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0106"><h2>106. Chapter 106</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regina: God help the person who ends up dating Janis.</p><p>Cady: ...I'm dating Janis...</p><p>Regina: My condolences.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0107"><h2>107. Chapter 107</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chandler: What's it like dating Veronica, bro?</p><p>JD: Once I asked him for water while she was still pissed at me, and she brought me a glass full of ice and told me to "wait"</p><p>JD: I love her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0108"><h2>108. Chapter 108</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McNamara: You're smiling, did something happen?</p><p>Veronica: Can't I just smile when I feel like it?</p><p>Chandler: Duke tripped and fell over in a parking lot.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0109"><h2>109. Chapter 109</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Janis: The glass is half-emptied</p><p>Regina: I think the glass is half-fulled.</p><p>Janis: I think you're full of sh*t.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0110"><h2>110. Chapter 110</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Veronica, over mic: Welcome to McDonald's. Do you want a f*cking cheeseburger?</p><p>JD, sobbing: I just want to see my mother again...</p><p>Veronica: C H I C K E N  T E N D E R S</p><p>JD:[screeches]</p>
  </div></div>
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